Question: Brother Khrystus, I asked my Pastor to help me out financially because I lost my job, couldn't find one for a long, long time and still had my obligations to meet. I did tell him that I'll pay him back, but he now wants to take advantage of me and my body and he is married to such a beautiful wife who loves the Lord and The Church and he is ALWAYS FULL OF THE SPIRIT - I'm totally CONFUSED. What should I do?
Answer: Thanks for writing to Dare 2 Be Different and asking. I wasn't stunned at all by your question because I sadly, too often hear of such teribble behaviour from US as ministers of the gospel.
This is a one of the hottest topics that I have to counsel and show that there is HOPE. Pastors molesting boys and girls or using their church members, especially when they ask them for help.
Friend, I want you to know from the very onset, that you didn't do anything wrong to approach your pastor FIRST for help. That's what the Bible recommends, we, as the CHURCH BODY look out for each other with NEEDS.
It's sad that he has displayed the same behaviour as the world, the same behaviour that you probably ran from when you decided to ask a church person or SO-CALLED church person.
The way to get over this and move on is to be bold and courageous and speak up. YOU CANNOT BE SILENT ANYMORE and let him play on your meek spirit. Here's what I recommend.
1. Pray to God for strength and courage
2. When he makes a forward statement again, or don't wait for him to make it, tell him, "Pastor, I looked up to you as my SHEPHERD, not as someone who always wanted to take advantage of me sexually. I now think of you differently and I am going to share the experience with the church leadership and your wife, for you to make amends there first"
3. Expect him to threaten you or threaten to bring you down or tear your name apart by saying you aproached him first for sex. PASTORS CAN BE DEVIOUS - VERY DEVIOUS. Always remember that not all Ministers of the Gospel are called by God. Some are called by man and others put themselves there. (Always check the spirits to see if they are of God or of the enemy. In this 21st century, there are MANY CHURCHES and MANY CULTS - BE CAREFUL)
4. Always remember, Isaiah 41:10 ¶ Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
GOD WILL BE WITH YOU!
If you're not that bold, there are other alternatives, like sharing it with someone confidential and asking him to approach the pastor quietly and deal with the matter.
You can also write to express how you feel with hopes that it will teach him manners and respect for his members.
Your way of dealing with it all depends on how BOLD or SOFT SPOKEN you are. Always remember, Dare 2 Be Different can definitely be your mouth piece where ever you are in the world. We can call, email, write a letter to him or the church or church board that governs his assembly and present your claims.
It makes it even better if you are a YOUTH - BECAUSE WE ARE OVERLY PASSIONATE ABOUT REPRESENTING AND SPEAKING OUT for our young people. The church and it's members who know alot about what's going on and not talking out are just as bad as THE CHURCH MEMBERS and MINISTERS committing such acts.
Someone has to let PASTORS know that others know what they are doing and they need to PULL UP THEIR SOCKS or GET OUT OF GOD'S BUSINESS for He always has the final say.
(I am wondering if to remove the title of PREACHER from by my name below because of how ashamed I am)
Brother Khrystus, President, Preacher, Motivational Speaker, Youth Advocate
Dare 2 Be Different International
http://www.d2bdifferent.com/
Answer: Thanks for writing to Dare 2 Be Different and asking. I wasn't stunned at all by your question because I sadly, too often hear of such teribble behaviour from US as ministers of the gospel.
This is a one of the hottest topics that I have to counsel and show that there is HOPE. Pastors molesting boys and girls or using their church members, especially when they ask them for help.
Friend, I want you to know from the very onset, that you didn't do anything wrong to approach your pastor FIRST for help. That's what the Bible recommends, we, as the CHURCH BODY look out for each other with NEEDS.
It's sad that he has displayed the same behaviour as the world, the same behaviour that you probably ran from when you decided to ask a church person or SO-CALLED church person.
The way to get over this and move on is to be bold and courageous and speak up. YOU CANNOT BE SILENT ANYMORE and let him play on your meek spirit. Here's what I recommend.
1. Pray to God for strength and courage
2. When he makes a forward statement again, or don't wait for him to make it, tell him, "Pastor, I looked up to you as my SHEPHERD, not as someone who always wanted to take advantage of me sexually. I now think of you differently and I am going to share the experience with the church leadership and your wife, for you to make amends there first"
3. Expect him to threaten you or threaten to bring you down or tear your name apart by saying you aproached him first for sex. PASTORS CAN BE DEVIOUS - VERY DEVIOUS. Always remember that not all Ministers of the Gospel are called by God. Some are called by man and others put themselves there. (Always check the spirits to see if they are of God or of the enemy. In this 21st century, there are MANY CHURCHES and MANY CULTS - BE CAREFUL)
4. Always remember, Isaiah 41:10 ¶ Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
GOD WILL BE WITH YOU!
If you're not that bold, there are other alternatives, like sharing it with someone confidential and asking him to approach the pastor quietly and deal with the matter.
You can also write to express how you feel with hopes that it will teach him manners and respect for his members.
Your way of dealing with it all depends on how BOLD or SOFT SPOKEN you are. Always remember, Dare 2 Be Different can definitely be your mouth piece where ever you are in the world. We can call, email, write a letter to him or the church or church board that governs his assembly and present your claims.
It makes it even better if you are a YOUTH - BECAUSE WE ARE OVERLY PASSIONATE ABOUT REPRESENTING AND SPEAKING OUT for our young people. The church and it's members who know alot about what's going on and not talking out are just as bad as THE CHURCH MEMBERS and MINISTERS committing such acts.
Someone has to let PASTORS know that others know what they are doing and they need to PULL UP THEIR SOCKS or GET OUT OF GOD'S BUSINESS for He always has the final say.
(I am wondering if to remove the title of PREACHER from by my name below because of how ashamed I am)
Brother Khrystus, President, Preacher, Motivational Speaker, Youth Advocate
Dare 2 Be Different International
http://www.d2bdifferent.com/
